Thinking Man's Bible: Appendix C

We of the Temple of the (S)Word of God™
hold to the following tenets:
(Void where prohibited.)

• We are not bigots. We believe that it does not matter what one’s religion is, as long as one is willing to kill for it.
• We do not want to become martyrs. We want to make martyrs.
• We interpret the biblical passages cited below to mean that God intends that mankind should use deadly edged weapons to punish heresy and blasphemy, to conquer others, to defend oneself, to enforce one’s will, to consolidate power, and to generally invoke tyranny, terror, obedience, injury, pain, suffering, fear, and death.
• We see these passages as enabling us to fully understand the nature of God and how the Almighty wants us to live our lives.

Note 1: The Temple of the (S)Word of God™ does not condone nor support nor recognize as legitimate the ravings of that deviant and heretical offshoot cult, the Temple of God(S)Word, Ltd., who have perverted and blasphemed holy writ by interpreting the Bible's references to swords to include firearms (as some sort of offshoot from the Bible's reference to the "bow," evidently). As we all know from the enlightened guidance from the People's Republic of California, Saturday-night specials and military-looking rifles are the work of Satan. Off with their heads!
Note 2: The Temple of the (S)Word of God™ does not condone nor support nor recognize as legitimate the ravings of that other deviant and heretical offshoot cult, the Fundamentalist Church of the (S)Word of God, Inc., who hold that all technology, methods, ideas, knowledge, medicine, geography, communications, ethics, breeds, strains, or any other modern thing (or kind) developed since the Resurrection are Satanic in origin, because Jesus would certainly have mentioned them (aspirin at least). As we all know, coach-class seating and machine-made cigars are the only truly new works of Satan. Off with their heads, too!
Note 3: The Temple of the (S)Word of God™ does not condone nor support nor recognize as legitimate the ravings of that highly deviant and heretical offshoot cult, the Fundamentalist Church of the (S)Word of God (Reformed), Inc., who hold that God approves of chemical, biological, and weather-modification weapons of mass destruction in addition to those individual weapons specifically mentioned in the Bible (e.g. sword, bow, sling, jaw of an ass, etc.) as instruments of His will (see: para 2 below). The Temple of the (S)Word of God™ does not call for the removal of their heads, however. These wackos are clearly irrational, and they may be dangerous to cross.